


What Are You (Not a Hero)

by greaterthanthree



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: And Pay More Attention, Angst, But it Wasn't All His Fault, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Loki's scepter, Steve Needs to be Careful, Tony Angst, Tony Has Issues, Tony Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Angst, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony-centric, words hurt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-20
Updated: 2016-06-20
Packaged: 2018-07-16 03:55:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7250980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greaterthanthree/pseuds/greaterthanthree
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Big man in a suit of armour. Take that off, what are you?” Nothing but another suit of armor and the pain that it hides.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Are You (Not a Hero)

**Author's Note:**

> Have some Tony angst. Because there just isn't enough of it out there.
> 
> This dedicated to and probably inspired heavily by everyone who has written Tony angst. I salute you.
> 
> The Avengers aren't mine, no matter how much I wish I owned Iron Man (because he's awesome) and Captain America (because he never would have become a Nazi if anyone sane had anything to say about it). Not even all of the words are mine; if it's in quotes and not in parentheses, it's from the movie. That you to imdb, from whence I got the quotes.
> 
> This was betaed by the incomparable readingislifeblood, who you should look up if you're willing to brave the wilds of wattpad

“Big man in a suit of armour. Take that off, what are you?” Steve says more than asks.

“Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.” Tony shoots off the response like the accusation doesn’t hurt. Like he doesn’t just say that because it hurts less than saying “Nothing,” or “Not good enough,” or “The man who let Yinsen die.” As though he doesn’t know that the answers are all synonymous. As though the labels are anything other than another suit of armor.

“I know guys with none of that worth ten of you. I've seen the footage. The only thing you really fight for is yourself. You're not the guy to make the sacrifice play, to lay down on a wire and let the other guy crawl over you.” Because of  _ course _ Steve has an answer, of  _ course _ he couldn’t just let it go.

And Tony  _ knows _ that he’s right, knows that his brains and his money and the rest of it doesn’t matter when  _ lives _ are on the line and people, good people, end up  _ dead _ , but he doesn’t have anything  _ else _ , so what was he  _ supposed _ to say. But Steve is wrong, because Tony might fight for himself first, but he still fights for everyone else because he can’t fail them  _ again _ . So he says, “I think I would just cut the wire.” And maybe that’s just looking for a way out, but Tony has to believe that there’s  _ always _ a way out because if there isn’t then what has he been selling his  _ soul _ for all these years?

“Always a way out... You know, you may not be a threat, but you better stop pretending to be a hero.” And that’s when Tony gets angry, because what right,  _ what right _ does this guy have to say that he’s not a hero. Maybe Steve is right, maybe Tony’s not a hero, maybe there shouldn’t even be that maybe, but Steve was  _ born _ as good as he is. Tony had to fight for every scrap of decency he’s got, had to go through  _ hell _ for it, and the  _ least _ the great Captain America could do is appreciate how  _ hard _ Tony tries, even if he fails  _ every single time _ .

“A hero? Like you? You're a lab rat, Rogers. Everything special about you came out of a bottle!” And Tony’s words are half hurt and half spite, but they’re also what Tony thinks is  _ true _ in that moment. Because Steve was supposed to be  _ good _ , was supposed to be the one person who would think Tony was  _ maybe _ okay and if he can’t be that, if he’s not Tony’s  _ hero _ anymore, what else do the stories say that’s wrong? And what hurts more than Steve’s words, more than the acknowledgement of what Tony already  _ knows _ , what cuts into Tony’s  _ soul _ is seeing his  _ hero _ turn out to be exactly like  _ everyone else _ .

(Later, Steve will apologize, say that the whole thing was because of the scepter and he didn’t mean any of it, but that doesn’t excuse what he said. And Tony will laugh and make some comment to the effect of, “What, even the great Capsicle doesn’t have perfect self control?” And Steve will grin and just as he turns to leave, Tony will call out with, “We both kinda acted like jerks,” and Steve will take it for the apology that it is.

And Tony will retreat to his lab because no amount of apologizing will change the truth, that Steve is a hero and Tony? Tony’s not.)


End file.
